Learning from Failure

Sometimes, from our need for acceptance, we change aspects of ourselves.  Being accepted by others is both a pleasure and a curse.  In life, we can always bring the fullness of who we are to the table.  Knowing that we are not fixed, that we can change and grow along the way.  It’s in that change that we can begin to experience and learn about the deeper aspects of ourselves.

Experiences can change your life, but only if you let them.

I’ve failed in so many ways in my life, some of these failures were private while others… painfully public.  The beauty in those failures though are that I choose to view them as moments of growth.  I don’t have to be perfect to be worthy or valuable as a human being. I am perfectly imperfect, much like you.

Not everyone chooses to view themselves in a growth mindset.  The term and concepts behind a growth mindset was developed by psychologist Carol Dweck and further popularized in her book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.  A mindset is defined by Dweck as a self-perception or “self-theory” that people hold about themselves.

Examples:  A person believes that they are “intelligent” or “unintelligent” is a mindset.

Dweck clarifies further that a mindset can be either have a “fixed” or “growth” focus.  If someone has a fixed mindset they believe that various aspects of themselves are fixed and can’t be changed.  So in terms of intelligence, a person with a fixed mindset will not spend as much time on developing their intellect.

A growth mindset on the other hand…

People who have a growth mindset believe they can develop and train their skills through hard work and dedication.  An example from my own life was that in elementary school, I was in remedial mathematics and reading courses.  For a long time, I believed what other people said about me that I was dumb and so… I accepted that as my reality not knowing that I could choose something different for myself.

I remember making a shift in the 3rd grade when my teacher at the time Ms. Ivie’s encouragement in some sense gave me permission to view myself differently.  Now, as an adult I have a library of books with over 400 mathematics books and hundreds more books from a wide variety of genres.  The two things that the school system labelled me as having a learning disability in became two of my biggest strengths.

That shift happened only when I realized that I could develop that skill and push myself further, but only if I were committed.  I would continue to make that shift multiple times throughout my life.  Each time typically after overcoming some struggle or some failure, while my ego took a hit… my resolve grew stronger.

I won’t claim to have it all figured out and a lot of times I feel like I’m still the student.  One thing though is that even as a student you are never to young to teach.  What kind of mindset do you have overall?  Do you have a fixed mindset in certain aspects of your life? If so, how can you challenge it?  If you’ve enjoyed this post, please do me a favor, share it and sign up to be notified of future posts.